If Neo Wasn't The One
by droidgirl
Summary: Supposedly funny


After Neo finished flying around in the Matrix, he landed onto the Real World. Morpheous goes up to him and looked at him sadly. 

"Hi!" Neo smiles.

"Oh, Neo, I've bad news for you Actually you're not the One, you're just picked to do the dirty jobs, this girl, she hasn't woken up yet, she's really the One. I'm so sorry, you did so much for us But you've to go back to the Matrix again."

"What?! How can you! Okay, I'll be calm. Then if I'm not the One, I'm not going back there. I'll stay, I'll do other stuff then. I'll be the pilot and drive the ship for you." 

Tank stares at him, "Are you trying to steal my job?"

"No, we thought you can cook good stuff, so you can be the Cook! You'll serve us our meals!"

Trinity looked at Morpheous, "So, who's the One? We'll wake her right now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Mark, Kian, Shane and Nicky looked at the time outside the mall, all dressed in suits, because they're the secret agents!

"What's taking her so long to appear?" Shane said.

"Here she comes," Mark said.

Ruth Crazy-Malu-Hooder-Meanie Sick Hong NQ(Burial) comes out and noticed them all staring at her intensively.

"Whoa, westlife? You guys are changing clothes sense to wearing suits? You look horribleand where's Bryan?"

"Bryan is not an agent. Miss Hong? We have been watching for a long time. It seems like you had been leading two lives." 

"Yes." Kian said behind.

"One watching Cable, the other, watching too much pirated VCDs from Thailand."

"Yes." Kian said again.

"One of them has a future, while one doesn't have"

"Yes."

"We'll be real glad if you could cooperate well with us."

"Yes." 

"Kian?"

"Yes."

"Shut up. We just want to ask you a few questions Do you know where the best pizza store is located? Huh? No, wrong question!" Mark knocked his head, "Something wrong with the input data, sorry. Okay, we believe this man, Morpheous, have contacts with you and so we want you to take us to see Morpheous" Mark said in that British-like irritating accent. 

"You mad? Have you been watching too much Matrix? Come back to earth, I'm still leading a life here!" Ruth said crossly.

"Oh shit," Mark mutters to his other agents.

"I'm so sorry, we got the wrong person. Bye!" and all of them turns to leave, embarrassed and could not face anyone.

Ruth looked at them weirdly and muttered a bad word, but suddenly, she blinks and discovered herself surrounded by stinky liquid! She pushed the thin layer on the top and sat up on the funny bed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark looked back, and was shocked. "Where's Ruth? She's vanished! Oh no! She got out of the Matrix!" and all of them groaned sickly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh my gosh! There is really a Matrix and I'm being awoken! And I got no hair!" She screams and looked around. 

A flying insect suddenly flew in front of her, it stopped in its tracks, but flew off again. She looked at it weird, isn't it supposed to observe her and pull off all those plugs? 

She could hear a deep-annoyed voice from a small speaker on the insect machine, "Neo! Are you dreaming or what?! That's the girl we're looking for! Go back!" 

The machine flew back. Ruth glanced over at the left side. The person looked really familiar *gasp, it's Bob Moffatt! And he's naked right now!

"Stop! I just wanna see Bob for a second, don't" and she got flushed down the drain before she finished protesting. As she was being flushed down, she saw the person below her funny bed all the while. It was actually Scott Moffatt! She was so shocked! Scott actually awoke at the same time and was staring at her ass the whole time! 

"Hello!" said Scott as he flowed past her, "You got a nice ass!" Ruth covered up her assets. They flowed into this big drainage sink-like cave and a metal claw pulled them up. Ruth and Scott lost conscious and had pins and needles poked all over their body. When they woke up, they had clothes on, and the clothes looked like something from a cheap flea market sale.

"Oh, I'm starting to grow hair again," Ruth commented, feeling her head. She looked at Scott. "I'm still bald!" Scott whines. Ruth walks over and observed his head, "No, actually you've got one, two ah three strands growing!"

Morpheous walks in, Trinity and Neo by his side. Ruth lifts her eyebrows at Neo. 

"Hello, I'm, you should know who we are, you watched the Matrix right? Ok, I've something to tell you"

"Ok, tell me." Ruth made herself comfortable on the floor.

Morpheous cleared his throat, "I'm here to tell you, you were woken up because you're actually the Chosen One" 

"Me?! That means I can be Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Yeah, are there any vampires here? Are you one? Can I slay you, cos you look like one?" Ruth asks excitedly. Scott interrupts, "Hey, if she's the One and gets woken up, then am I also one? I think I can be one too." 

"Shut up!" Morpheous glared, already starting to get irritated and frustrated, "No, Scott, you're not the One, we accidentally pressed your number cos your number was just below her! And Ruth, not the Vampire Slayer, you'll be taking over Neo!" 

"That's good, not at least I know Corrine Weng' isn't here." Ruth smiles, and looked at Neo, who was frowning the whole time. Scott was very disappointed, but was fine a few minutes later. 

"Corrine Wang? Oh, her! She's the one who keeps on putting those horrible romance sex books into her system! So irritating!" Trinity scowled.

"Yeah! I tell you what she did! She keeps on saying we're mean, my friends and me! I tell you" and everyone gathered around her and listened attentively, until she finished her story. 

"Erm, if I'm the One, and I'll be staying here, can I get some company, please? I don't want to be alone here, I need my friends" 

"Okay, okay. Not too many" Morpheous agreed reluctantly.

"Alright, I'll get Rowena, Audrey, Lingzhi, Marilyn, hmm, the Moffatt triplets cos they're so cute, erm, not whose that name, Co Creen Weng! No, I don't know her, never mind, ok, finished!"

"Ok, pass me the lap-top, Neo. Rowena, No.590019, Audrey, No. 392891 they're all awake!" Morpheous smiled successfully.

"Ah, my brothers are coming here? Nooo!" Scott whined again.

"Scott, I'm sending you back, you've to go back, cos you don't belong here yet. And to apologise for the fault I made, we've decided to not take away the great memory you have from here! Bye!" Trinity smiled prettily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Really! There is a Matrix! And I came back here from the Real World!" Scott groaned, and the nurses strapped up the jacket, and put him into a room where the walls were padded and no windows. And just being there, he wrote many songs like Frustration' and Misery'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Rowena rubbed her eyes, and took one breath, before being flushed away. She landed in a big pool of mucky stuff, and discovered that her long beautiful hair had become bald! And she screamed.

"Rowena"' Audrey waved to her. Lingzhi yelled from the other side and Marilyn swum over. 

"Oh good, we're all naked right now." Lingzhi said sarcastically. 

All of them heard some more splashing from the other side, and these 3 cute-looking guys swam over. "Whoa," Rowena muttered, staring at each of them carefully at the right places.

It was actually the Moffatt triplets indeed! And, my, do they look good without clothes! The guys stared at them too. Then, the metal claw moved down and pulled Rowena up first, but the others were so eager to get up that everyone clung on to the claw and all of them went up together, Bob all the while observing Audrey, Audrey glared at him, and Rowena snickered at Clint. Then they were treated the same way as Ruth and Scott. 

When they woke up, they were fully dressed and Ruth stared at them all. All their hair was growing back. Bob was really disappointed 'cos his nice hair was gone, Clint did not mind as it felt the same way and Dave was really interested in his new look. 

"Hello! Welcome to the Real World!' Ruth smiled and waved at them, all the while drooling at Bob. All of them came out of the room and joked around. Ah! The Malu Club people (excluding Rowena, she's special) were re-united again! Clint looked at himself and gaped. He had fine longer hair growing all over his body! It turned out that in the Matrix, when they were singers, he was a normal human, but in the Real World, he was actually a were-Dog! He groaned, knowing that there wasn't a shaver in the Real World, well, not really invented to work yet. But, he did not mind that much, cos there was only 1 full moon in a month.

Then Mark and his agents appeared suddenly. Ruth stared at him, seeming to remember something a long time ago. Mark stared at her and grinned like a devil. 

Then Ruth suddenly remembered, it was all in a dream

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ruth dreamt herself in Pizza Hut having a great meal. Then she looked around and saw Mark from westlife sitting at the other side staring at her. She ignored him and picked up the big piece of pizza which Rowena, sitting opposite her had thrown it accidentally when she tried to cut it with a fork. She stuffed the whole pizza piece into her mouth in a really horrible manner. She glanced at the side and saw Mark laughing at her.. That was a real nightmare she had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"You! It's you!" Ruth croaked, pointing at him.

Mark cackled, "Yes! It's me in your dream! And know what, I like the way you eat, just like me! I think you're my soul mate! I have to bring you with me, and see Morpheous to allow me to take you with me! hahahahah."

"Yes." Kian said behind.

"Shut up, Kian."

"Uh-oh, Ruth, you're in trouble" Lingzhi said in a sing-song voice. 

"Oh no, I'm going off, bye!" Ruth hurried away. 

Later she went to Morpheous and asked him to program a cinema for a date with Bob. Morpheous agreed and thus Bob and Ruth went to watch a nice movie. Then she felt herself being watched, and she turned around to see. She saw Mark and Audrey sitting up there, Mark kept on staring at Ruth and Audrey was very annoyed at him for not paying attention. 

"Hey! Why are you here! You were following us!" Ruth screamed.

"No, we're not! I came on a date with Audrey!" Mark yelled back.

Then both of them started arguing. Suddenly they could hear Morpheous voice boom out of the speakers, "Hey, you two better stop fighting! I put you two in the same cinema cos I didn't want to on 2 programs for you two couples. You know, the Matrix isn't that rich, we have to pay a lot for the electricity generated here, so you all have to bear being in the same cinema!" 

Then Bob stepped up and faced Mark. The scene went back to the Real World again, where everyone was in the same place. Clint and Dave left the scene because Morpheous called them away. Bob looked back at the girls, then at Mark and yelled, "Don't you dare take Ruth away! I dare you to fight with me first! She's mine!" Bob wanted to fling his hair to the side like he always does, but soon realised that he was almost bald.

"Ok, I'll fight with you!" Mark replied in the accent again.

Ruth, Rowena, Lingzhi, Audrey and Marilyn sat down on the floor and cheered on. Nicky, Kian and Shane sat on the other side and cheered him on. "Hey, not bad ah, they're fighting over me!" Ruth snickers. 

Mark was the first one to punch Bob's eye. Bob bent over, owing the whole time. Then Bob stepped on Mark's toe and Mark yelled. Soon, the girls were already putting bets on who will win, "Aye, I think Mark will win, Mark's older and stronger!" Audrey quips, Lingzhi placed her bet on Bob cos she thought he had a special on stepping toes, and the rest placed their own bets. Rowena went away for a while, and brought back bottles of petrol for each of them to drink while watching.

"You asshole! Ruth is mine!" Mark shouted and pushed Bob away. Bob refused to budge and pulled back. They yelled at each other. Then Mark laughed when Bob tripped on his own black trench coat, falling on his butt. But both of them still did not admit defeat. Soon, they started to pull out funny things from under their jackets like candies, flowers. etc. for Ruth, trying hard to impress her. Ruth shook her head and stood up. 

"I'm so sorry Mark. I think I have to delete you from the computer right now. And your agents too. You can never impress me, cos my heart is with Bob now! Rowena! Pass me the computer mouse!" 

"Ruth, you can't do this! Ruth, I love you! Really!" Mark begged. Audrey watched teary-eyed, "Oh guys, I really liked your songs when I was in the Matrix, goodbye now"

Rowena disappeared for a minute and came back dragging the mouse wire behind her. "Here, the mouse."

Ruth stares at it, "Is this Genius brand? If not, others are lousy brands!"

Rowena argued back, "This is just the mouse! Take it or leave it, it's No Frills', no brand!"

"No, Genius is the best brand!" 

"No, Canon is my home brand, I like it, it's the best!" 

"And I got Windows 2999!"

* * "So? I got Windows 3000!" 

"it's out already?" 

"Yes, you idiot!" and it went on for many minutes.

"Erm, people? Ruth? Aren't you suppose to delete the westlife members?" Marilyn finally said.

"Oh, yeah." Ruth pressed the button and Mark disappeared with a sickening sound that a computer produces when it was being shut down. The other agents disappeared one by one too. "Yeah, they're all gone!" 

The others came back. Clint went up to Rowena and asked her out on a date. Rowena was really tickled by his fine hairs, and refused cos she did not liked being tickled the whole time. So, Clint went to Audrey and asked her for a date, which she happily agreed. Rowena went off with Dave to study Science.

Ruth sighed. Bob came up to comfort her, and everyone went back to doing their own stuff.

Then Mark woke up to discover that he had a soul which was floating around in the Real World where everyone was sleeping and dreaming away in the Matrix. He found his agents and they started singing Seasons in the sun" cos they are all dead and Mark decided to wake everyone up. They woke everyone up and soon everyone was flushed down, except for Scott, cos they were still feeling angry, and Scott was Bob's brother, at the same they heard from the others that Scott was kind of irritating. So, he was the only one sleeping there, while trillions and millions other human beings were flushed down the drain. In the Matrix, Scott discovered that he was the only one alive in earth, and he thought he was pretty important for being the only one not dead. Then the Woman In Red dress which Mouse had earlier created was still in the Matrix, and it made Scott so happy, until Mark discovered it and infected her file with a super deadly virus and the Woman In Red soon vanished from the face of the Matrix.

Soon, every one was restored in the Real World. The people started to move towards the places outside the place where Morpheous and the others stayed. They made buildings out of the caves and stayed there. 

Ruth and Bob were happy together. Clint and Audrey were happy too, except that sometimes when Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy walked pass and Clint would disappear for a while, Audrey would want to kill him. Lingzhi met Jay Kay while he was building his house and they fell in love. Dave and Rowena were studying Biology. Rowena hinted to go to Chapter 11 of the Biology textbook fast, the reproduction part, making a heavy hint there. Dave took it the right way and he was really studying and memorising the part of Biology cos he was having a Biology test soon. Rowena got really pissed and left abruptly. 

Marilyn found out that Dave and her were a real match, her soulmate, and both of them sat down and studied happily together. Ah, not bad, the 2 sweetest people put together to make an ultra sweet couple. 

In the end Rowena went to Neo, who looked like Keanu Reeves, who was all alone. Trinity had left him because she found a better lover, the real Keanu Reeves. And both of them were quite pleased to have found each other.

But while all these happy beginnings were starting, Mark, Kian, Nicky and Shane soon found 4 perfect bodies who had died cos their minds were in the Matrix and the plug accidentally tripped and broke, and they could not live without the mind. And the other thing is that, the 4 bodies looked almost exactly like the westlife members, it was just too good to be true. Mark vowed to get back to Bob and get Ruth somehow 

End of Saga one of the Matrix

Saga: The Matrix – Part 2

Finally, Mark decided to wake Scott up, he felt he was too mean to allow him to stay in the Matrix alone. Scott, the last one to come back, was flushed down the drain and to the big pool of mucky liquid. He coughed and groaned again, but this time the metal claw did not came to pick him up, cos he was already poked with pins and needles and his muscles were functioning properly, thus he swam his way out to open space and walked all the way back to the main department of Morpheous. He entered the place and saw Morpheous holding a piece of tattered cloth and reading it. It was the newspaper, in the form of cloth, cos paper was not invented in the Real World yet. Morpheous looked up and sighed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Morpheous could still remember that when the Matrix was at it's best form, he got into a frenzy habit of creating half-humans and half-computers. Then by the worst chance of a nightmare, he accidentally lost control of the inventing machine and out came the creation of westlife and westlife! He wanted to delete them away, but then he read an important computer message that if he were to delete their files away, the computer would break down and the other files will suffer a huge mess and loss, and at the same time he found out that westlife and westlife do belong and is essential to the computer world, cos they are not truly humans, that had to survive

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Everything was coming back to his mind. "Oh no, Scott Moffatt, what do you want now again"

"Morpheous! Helloooo! Nice to see you again! I did tell everyone in the Matrix that there was a Matrix, but they didn't believe me and told me to go to hell." 

"And what"

"Wait, I came back now. Can I join you people here at work in the control department, please? I really wish to do some stuff here, please assign me a job"

"Ok, fine fine. I'll give you a job. You help clean the place up okay? That's the only job available. You gotta wait for someone to give up other jobs, you'll be at the top list. And don't ever think that a cleaning job is not important."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, no one at the department knew that westlife still existed in the Real World. All had thought they had lost their souls. And all the time, they enjoyed their lives fully to the brim.

westlife (Mark, Kian, Nicky and Shane decided they'll work as a team called that) planned in the dark corner of the spaceship, to make everyone lose conscious before taking action. They decided and Shane was sent to do the job.

Shane entered the Living System Control, but suddenly he heard footsteps behind him and he looked back. And oh my, it was one of the prettiest girl he had ever seen! It was Audrey! He did remember her when she went to support them in the Matrix. Audrey was very surprised and was about to scream when Shane covered her mouth and told her that he was only sent on a small mission. Audrey shook her head but Shane pressed the secret button, which works like the Atomic bomb, just that it does not kill like it, instead it released semi-poison gas into the air and all the humans lost conscious, except for westlife cos they are half human and half computer. Audrey, being human, faints into Shane's arms. 

Mark went up to Ruth and pushed Bob away who had fainted on her. He carried her away and gave Bob a final kick before leaving. Bob snorted comfortably and turned to the other side. Mark locked Ruth up in the little metal room with no windows at all. Mark laughed and threw the key into his throat which would be stored there for the time. He proceeded to tie all the humans who had lost consciousness. 

Then suddenly Scott appears! Oh, it turned out that the truth of the Moffatts actually not being fully human came out to light! Thus they did not faint, the fact that Bob fainted was because he was actually sleeping, not fainted. Scott pointed at Mark and said F***'. Mark was very angry, how dare Scott show such disrespect for an older than a few years person! 

"You! Let Ruth out! She's my future sister-in-law!" Scott shouted and pointed at Mark. 

"You crazy? She's mine! Mine! Mine! MIne!" Mark laughed. 

Scott rushed forward and crashed into Mark. Mark retreated and punched and kicked Scott. Scott cried out in pain and bit Mark's arm. But too bad, Mark has more computer complexity than Scott, thus Scott felt metal below his teeth. Mark pushed him away, Scott could feel grease on his teeth. 

"Hey! You grease your body! Cheater!"

"You're stupid! Of course I need oiling, I don't want to rust away!" 

Ruth opened the door. It seemed that Mark locked the door but forgot to shut it properly, Mark was very shocked when Ruth walked out yawning. 

"How did you get out?" Mark, distracted.

Ruth looked at him weird. Suddenly, Mark received a blow from Scott, actually not Scott, from the fire-extinguisher in Scott's hands. Mark flared up and grabbed Scott by the neck, choking him. Scott yelled and Mark flunk him to the side wall. Scott hit the wall and slid down, his eyes crossed. Mark laughed and held up the fire-extinguisher high up in the sky, ready to smash it onto his head. But Scott's shoe which had flew off his left foot was just below his feet and Mark tripped on it and the fire extinguisher hit his own head and the computer brain he had automatically, shut down and Mark blacked out.

"Ah, Ruth! You're back!" Scott said happily. 

Then, Bob walked in sleepy-eyed, Scott glared at him. Then Mark's brain restarted again and the 3 of them just glared at each other. 

"Ruth is mine!" Mark growled, "And you Scott, I shouldn't had woken you up, and you even said she was your future sister-in-law! You're so despicable!"

"No! Scott! Mark! Ruth is gonna by my girlfriend forever!" Bob squinted his eyes fiercely. 

"Excuse me? I'm leaving" Ruth said.

"NO!" all 3 yelled in unison, so Ruth stayed to watch what was going to happen. 

"Ok, Ruth shall be mine, because I'm a good cook! I'll cook for her!" Scott said insincerely cos he didn't really love Ruth but he just liked her cos she was sexy.

All stared at him horribly.

"No! I can cook too, and I've a built-in microwave!" Mark opened up his stomach to reveal a 0.6 cu.ft compact microwave cooker. 

"Hey! Moffat' brand! My surname!" Bob cried excitedly.

"No, it's from Europe, invented by a person called Moffat, not your surname!" 

Suddenly, Bob whipped out a frying pan from under his trench coat, below it was imprinted Bob Can Cook Too!'

"Hey, Ruth, I haven't told you this, actually I took cooking lessons in secret a few years ago, and I can cook many good stuff, you'll love my cooking for sure!" then Bob swung the frying pan around and hit everyone on the head.

Ruth was so pissed as Bob also hit her head, "You idiot! I won't ever go out with you anymore! I'll date Mark!" 

Mark was never as happy before and Ruth and Mark held hands, walking off together. The other two shook their heads sadly and walked away.

Meanwhile Audrey woke up and the first person she saw was Shane. Shane smiled at her and she smiled back. Then Audrey knew he was the one she was looking for and both of them hugged. Clint, who was walking past, witnessed everything and was kind of disappointed, but seconds later, he thought he would rather remain single for his whole life, and walked off. 

Mark and Ruth went on a date together. Ruth was mesmerised by Mark and started telling him about a dream she had about Mark

Ruth looked up and saw Mark staring at her intensively. Then Mark leaned forward and hugged her. Ruth felt really at ease that time and did not scream at Mark for doing it. Then Mark held her and started talking about Audrey and his songs. Ruth got really irritated. Then Mark kissed her cheeks and whispered I Love You' into her ears. At first Ruth was pretty please at it, then she changed her mind when she felt some droplets of saliva go into her ears. The worst came when Mark started talking about his whole life. Ruth go soooo irritated finally

"You were so irritating!" Ruth screamed at him. Just then Taylor Hanson walked by, and Ruth went oh my gosh' and stood up. 

"I had a dream about you yesterday! I dreamt that I was kissing you passionately and it was so vivid! Oh, it was you really!" Ruth said.

Taylor looked at her dearly and thought she did not look that bad, thus he agreed to go out with her. Mark got all jealous again, and this time he got so angry that he pushed Taylor away and shielded Ruth with his arms. Bob appeared again in search of Ruth. Then all of them started shouting again. Ruth got so so so mad that she ended the whole fight with I'll go out with Zac Hanson!" and left. So, in the end, none of them got Ruth and all of them left together. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Audrey and Shane had to keep their relationship secret for the time being. If Morpheous found out about their secret love, Shane would have to be deleted off the computer again, then Audrey would be so upset. Both of them looked into each other's eyes deep, then they leaned forward, about to kiss, when suddenly Clint walked in and stared at them blankly. 

"Oh, Clint, I can explain all these! Erm, I'm so sorreeee" Audrey cried out, and stood up. 

Clint looked at her, "Hi! Good morning, how come everyone is sleeping on the floor?" then he walked off again.

Audrey stared at Shane, "I think he means I can go with you," and they started to make out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ruth stormed in the control department and sat down beside Morpehous. Morpheous was still flipping through the cloth. She looked up and saw Scott holding a mop behind him. 

"Helloo! I'm the cleaner, temporarily. And, Ruth, oh f***, your ass is still as nice-looking." Scott said.

So, Ruth turned back to the screens and clicked on a button, just to check everything was going on right in the open space. It seems that the humans were indeed building homes in open space, and the thing is that some houses were floating, but were tied down to the solid ground using some ropes and stuff, just like a balloon!

Ruth was so pissed cos the keyboard, Tab' was not working and needed repair right now. Then she clicked on her mouse and looked at the camera takings. She leaned forward when it came to this scene.

There was Take 5, a young teenage accapella group was standing lost together in the middle of the space trail. Then Stevie, one of them, grabbed one passer-by and demanded, "Do you know where the radio station is? We have to be there by 3pm! Don't waste our time here, say it fast, we're busy people, you know!" 

The passer-by stared at them for a while and flung off Stevie's hold on him, "Excuse me, you people here are Take 5, oh, wow. I'll give you the directions, first you turn this way, then that way"

Take 5 did as told, and guess where they ended up, they went to this isolated area where there are space echoes, and a sign board stuck on a pole that said We welcome Losers abroad!" in large bold letters. Take 5 decided to stay here cos till then, they realised that people hated them and they should the more stay isolated. 

Ruth laughed cruelly, then she turned to Scott and smiled for once. Scott thought that she was smiling at him and liked him and threw down his mop, and was about to walked to her when Morpheous gave him this look and he went back to mopping. 

Well, deep down inside, Ruth really liked Bob, but she was still very annoyed at Bob for misbehaving. She missed him dearly. She sighed heavily and leaned back on her chair. 

Then she got up and went out of the department, accidentally stepping onto the wet floor and making shoe marks all over the newly-cleaned floor. Scott grumbled, but she ignored him and continued walking out. 

But when she went out, Mark came running to her, and slid down on his knees from the front. She was very surprised. Mark pulled out a bouquet of red roses and gave it to her.

"Oh Ruth! You're my Sun and helped to see the world. You're the Moon, guiding me in the night, you're the stars that twinkle to me when ever I feel hopeless and lonely. You're like the Water, essential for my life Oh, Ruth, I love you dearly, I'm willing to give my life to you, I need you, and I have to have you by my side to survive in this Real World. You're the one I lived for, you're the one I die for! Please Ruth, give me one more chance!" 

"Huh? You mad?" Ruth plucked out the petals of the roses and kept them in her pocket, "Oh, good idea, I can use them for my beauty bath."

"Ruth, I can give you a million trillion roses if you ask for it! Erm, we can talk bout it when we enter the matrix" Mark begged.

Ruth continued walking, Mark held on to her pants, and as dragged along the floor. Ruth was so irritated with him, and frowned. 

"Ruth! Ruth! Ruth!" Mark begged as though he was being tortured badly during the whole time, he hugged her legs and smooched them, making wet lip patches on her pants. Ruth was so disgusted, and tried shaking him off, in vain. Mark hugged her legs tightly, and smiled like a psychotic killer and rested on her legs. Ruth was already desperate for someone to get Mark off her legs. 

"Scott! Scott! Help!" Ruth screamed.

Then Scott came running out, mop in one hand and pail in the other. He glared at Mark and ran to Ruth, then splashed the blackish water on his head, also splashing a little on Ruth's nice pants, and Ruth screamed at him again. Then Scott splat the wet mop on Mark's head, and mopped his head clean. Mark struggled under the tangle of mop strings, and held on to Ruth's legs tightly. Ruth kicked her legs and Scott had to pull the mop away as Mark bit on the mop, refusing to let go. 

Suddenly, Mark jerked and let go of everything, then laid on the floor unmoving. Ruth bent down and checked him, "He got an electrical shock due to the water." 

"Thank you very much Scott, I'll help you get a promotion later, bye!" and Ruth left again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Meanwhile, Bob went to seek Dave's advice on how to get Ruth's love. Dave, sitting on the floor (cos in the Real World, it is seen that people with really high status only sat on chairs, normal common people usually sat on the floor.) and he listened attentively. Bob was so upset he almost cried out, then Marilyn came in with bottles of petrol, "Come, we'll drink to take away your sorrow, but not that much to cause liver cancer." And each of them took one bottle of petrol and drank. In the Real World, water is used to power things, just like how fuel produced energy in the Matrix, while petrol is the common drinks like beer in the Matrix. Well, Diesel is too expensive, thus they don't drink that. 

"Oh, Dave! Ruth hates me now! What am I to do now?" Bob shook Dave, Dave almost puked out his breakfast of congee. Marilyn handed both of them the bottles of petrol, Bob just poured it down his throat and finished it in just 2 minutes, and that was incredible. Dave was totally amazed. 

"I think everything would be fine later on, it's always like that in the storybooks. You must trust me" Dave drank half the bottle of petrol and burped, then he slumped down to the floor to sMarkp. Marilyn sat down beside him and looked at Bob. 

"He's drunk already?" 

"Yeah, he didn't drink that much since he's been in the Real World."

"Ok then, bye." And Bob walked out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

As Bob walked along the corridor, Ruth bumped into him walking along the same corridor. Ruth glared at him, Bob almost cried at her reaction, his heart was broken, then both of them walked past each other without glancing back.

How dare he ignore me like that, Ruth thought. She was fuming inside and she ran to find someone to talk to. Ah, there's always Rowena.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Rowena! Come out!" Rowena rolled out of the doorway cos she was practising some gymnastic moves she had just learnt from nowhere, and also at the same time, she decided to clean the floor by wiping the dirt with her old dirty shirt . 

"What?" 

"Rowena! Talk to me!" 

"Ok, let's talk, you start first!"

"No, you start first! I don't want to talk, I'll just listen to you talk crap"

"Ok, you know what happened today? I had such a fun time today! And I made my bed! I caught the small bug that was always infesting the pillow, I trimmed my hair a bit"

"Ok, I'm feeling much better now, you can stop."

"Ah, you miss Bob right? I know! You want him, right! I'll teach you a skill to get him back" 

"Like what?"

"Come, come, we must whisper now"

Suddenly, the alarm sounded and Ruth knew there was an emergency to get back to the ship's headquarters.

"Rowena, bye!" and she left, and Rowena went on rolling on the floor.

Ruth rushed back to the Headquarters, almost bumping into Trinity who was coming out of the Headquarters to look for her. Both of them went in, Neo was standing by Morpheous's side, all had a solemn expression. 

"Ruth, as you had known, the World we're living in right now, is the only one left where humans can stay in, the Outside World are infested with aliens and they long had been planning to take over the last standing World of ours to make it a complete set of Worlds since I had been alive. We had defended ourselves from the aliens and the agents in the corrupted computers, but right now, this had been the most powerful attack from the aliens from the Outer Limits, we must protect our people from being harmed"

"I seem to get your idea already. Alright, I'm prepared to take this challenge, we go forth!" Ruth said determinedly. 

"Ok, Ruth, now you must plan your strategy before acting. I had employed 2 extra beings to assist you in your defence, here, meet Mulder and Scully."

"Mulder and Scully? From X-Files?" 

"Yes and no, they had disguised themselves well in the Matrix and because they had such great ability of disguise, they managed to get themselves acting roles in the Matrix just for their own entertainment,"

"Oh" Ruth nodded her head and then she started to plan everything, all listened carefully.

Neo refused at first to her idea, but seeing that no one supported him, he decided to let down and do her way. 

"Ok, we'll stick to that plan, OneWe rule!" as all of them cheered before taking action.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Rowena, Audrey, Lingzhi, Marilyn, Trinity, and Mulder and Scully. You'll be in my group, and you'll all will follow and assist me during our operation the other group, erm, whoever Neo chose, Neo shall lead you" Ruth ordered.

After a sad parting and departure between Shane, Nick, Brad, and Dave, and all the girls except for Rowena, they packed their lunch and got into the fighting ships. They took one last look at the Real World, knowing that if the plan does not work well, they would not be able to come back here again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Bob laze around lazily in open space, unknowing that there were already invaders into the Real World who are patrolling the place. Bob took a sip of the petrol and laid it down on the floor.

Then, just as unexpected, a gigantic humongous oval plate flashed above his head. Bob stared wide-eyed, frozen by the amazing sight. The silver plate flashed a second time, almost blinding his eyes, then just before he blacked out, he saw a warm ray of blue light shine down on him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Rowena looked into the binoculars, exclaiming, "Hey, people, look! I see so many floating houses, and there's Keanu Reeves showering right now in one of them!"

Everyone crowded around her, except for Neo and Mulder. Later, after each of them had seen it, Rowena picked up the binoculars and looked again. Then she screamed again, "Oh, Bob is flying under blue rays! That's so fun!'

" Oh my God! That's the alien craft, they got my Bob! Oh no! I must rescue Bob! Bob! He'll be suffering! " Ruth cried out.

Neo was ordered to speed up the fighting ship, following right behind the alien craft. Now, they just have to go a little closer to seize into the alien craft.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"tutututututututututu." Bob first hear those sounds when he woke up, he was strapped down with purple leather-like things and wearing only his boxers. He looked up and saw a blue-skinned figure ¾ the size of his own body. He smiled at the figure, and the figure's big glassy eyes glowed. 

"tutututututututututu" the figure made some soft sounds.

"Oh I know what you're saying, you're saying I look cute? Thanks! You're so nice!"

"tututututututu—tutu" 

"oh, you're so polite! Can you strap me down please? I'm feeling kinda stiff lying here on this metal container"

"tututututut"

"Oh, that's too bad then, your boss says you can't or else he'll box your eye? Nevermind, I'll stay like that then."

"tutututututu."

"No! You can't do that! I have my pride! No! You're so mean! No" Bob screams, as the figure reached under him and pulled out a silver gleaming tong. Bob stared in horror. It lowered its claws to Bob's neck and clicked on a slight button at the edge, a small whirling sound could be heard. Bob screamed and screamed.

The figure lowered the whirling tong to his scalp, then it carefully cut a 5cm length of hair from Bob's fringe. Bob screamed again. The figure placed the little bunch of hair into a small circular tray-like thing that moved away soon. Then the figure kept its tong and pulled out a bundle of stick-like things. Then several other figures of the same species surrounded Bob and picked up the stick things. Bob screamed again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"We're in! Get ready!" Ruth held up her point-laser shag gun, and glanced back to check. She groaned when she saw Rowena, "Rowena, do you think you're a bit too unbelievable?" 

Rowena grinned and raised up the chain saw gun on her left hand and the D2-16 Alfa gun on her right hand. The round laser No. 68 bombs strapped to her waist and the cannon-fighter XYZ gun hung on her back, the mini-laser gun strapped to her left ankle and she had tied a green ribbon around her forehead, which had I Rule All' written on it.

Audrey held on tight onto her laser sabre and looked cautiously to her left, then she realised that, well, actually the interior of the alien craft was designed so beautifully and attractively-metallic.

"Whoa, next time when I buy a house, I'll get the aliens to design it for me," Audrey said.

"Audrey, Lingzhi and Sarbina, you'll check out that area there, destroy any alien you see. Rowena and Trinity, you'll come with me, we'll go deep into the nest and see if there are any baby aliens to bring home with us to rear. Mulder and Scully, you guys stay right here, and figure out how to get around this place and page me when you find the answer, my beeper is 99991823."

As all of them went their separate ways, Ruth, together with Rowena and Trinity, ventured carefully along the brightly-lit with yellow light stretch of way into further darkness. 

Suddenly a wheezing sound came from all around. Ruth was certain it was the danger alarm of the aliens. Then her beeper beeped. Ruth picked it up and pulled out the computer-net caller phone and Scully picked up the call, "Ruth! Go to your left corridor! There are many aliens coming your way from the front!"

Ruth signaled and all of them rolled into the left corridor. Indeed, there were squishing sounds right behind them and it soon vanished. 

"Yes! The aliens are gone! It's recess time for them."

"Where do we go now? I'll go rescue Bob first"

"Nooooo!!!!" Scully screamed.

"Scully! Scully! Where are you, what happened? Scully! Mulder!"

A moment of silence later on, Ruth listen carefully into the background, but she got the shock of her life.

"Hellooo Ruth! I'm Scott right here! We, me, Clint, Shane and Mark had come to join you guys here! Where are you?" Scott answered the caller.

Ruth fainted and she had to be helped to sit down on the floor by Trinity. Rowena grabbed the caller and screamed excitedly, "Scott? You all are here? Who brought you here? Neo? Give him a kiss for me!" then she remembered she was supposed to be mean, "erhem scuse me, you guys are supposed to be staying at home to take care of the control department, and also help clean up the place, now I say GO HOME!" 

"Nooo! We came all the way here, just to help, let's go!" and the caller went dead and Rowena knew that they're all coming to them.

Ruth woke up, "I hope that was a nightmare,"

"Ah, Ruth? They're coming?" 

"Oh my God" and she fainted again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ruth finally accepted the truth that the guys are tagging along on the rescue of Bob and free the humans of alien attacks. 

Clint looked at the watch, "It's dinner time!" and then the guys went yeah!' and all of guys sat down on the floor and spread out the big bag of dunno-what's-inside that Shane had been carrying. It was actually, a big pot of congee, bottles of petrol, and sponges wrapped in aluminum foil. 

"Let's eat!" Scott exclaimed and all of them started eating, the girls stared unbelievingly.

"They can still eat" Trinity said and shook her head hopelessly. 

"Let's go without them, kay?" Ruth said and they sneaked off. 

Then they met Audrey, Lingzhi and Marilyn running for their lives from the other direction.

"AHHH! Ruth! The aliens are chasing us! Audrey's laser sabre ran out of battery! My 007-RA motor gun ran out of beer and Marilyn's Fire-Soaker Cannon was stolen from her! You must attack them and take revenge for us!" Lingzhi yelled and ran behind Ruth, Rowena and Trinity. Audrey and Marilyn did too and Rowena drew out her D2-16 Alfa gun and raised up the chain saw gun in front, and unclick the laser No.68 bombs with her left feet. Ruth prepared her Point-laser Shag gun and Trinity took a deep breath.

They could hear splashing sounds. "Look out!" Audrey screamed. 

Rowena almost dropped the laser No.68 bombs onto the floor when she saw the massive attack of millions of small house lizards crawling from the ceiling and the floor. All of them screamed. Ruth snatched the bomb from Rowena's hand and threw it to the lizards and it landed just before the lizards. 

"I haven't light it yet!"

And then, Ruth took a deep breath, ran back to where the bomb was resting, grabbed it and ran back. She use the Fire-Blaster from her back-pocket and lighted it and threw the bomb to the millions of lizards. The bomb exploded and the lizards all died charcoal-black.

"They're so pitiful" Marilyn said sympathised. 

"Here take this!" Rowena, being her usual generous self, handed Lingzhi the mini-laser gun, Audrey the Cannon-fighter XYZ gun and the laser No.68 bombs to Marilyn. Ruth looked longingly at the laser sabre which ran out of battery, too bad it couldn't be worked, if not she'll gladly take it. 

"Oh my God! Look whose here!" Audrey cried.

It was the droolsome Obi-Wan Kenobi! The young one, of course! Ruth screamed and ran up to him, the others all crowded around him. 

"Hi, I'm here cos I heard the explosion and came to see if it was someone from my planet. It turned out, no. I was caught by the aliens a long time ago, when my planet was attack by the aliens. Now, my planet had been occupied and the humans had been made slaves and now, it's my duty, to go save the World!"

"Erm, if you were not Obi-Wan Kenobi, I would had given you a punch and said I'm the Chosen One and it's up to me to save the World, not you!" Ruth replied.

"Sorry, ok, I'll lead the way." 

And everyone followed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

They walked through dozens of dizzy corridors before reaching this huge closed metal door. Obi-Wan Kenobi hit one corner of the door and a small box shot out, revealing many buttons with some symbols on it.

"I discovered the switch security was mal-functioning, so I just needs a knock and it'll pop out." Then he pressed the buttons for as long as 10-minutes before the door cache finally opened.

"Wow, you can remember the password so well!" Audrey said.

"Well, actually, I know no password, I just press and press, the screen says try again, so I did, until I hit upon the password! Ain't I great?" and no one answered him.

Suddenly the real emergency alarm rang and blue-skinned naked aliens came charging out of nowhere, holding out their bare hands and some small little pokey-scary stuff in their hands. Marilyn threw one laser No.69 bomb towards the aliens, but the strange thing is that no weapons seemed to harm the aliens. One skinny blue alien ran towards Ruth and tutututututu' in her face, then grabbed her hands. Ruth looked disgusted and pulled her hand away, and punched the alien in its glossy eye. The alien screamed tutututututut' and let go. 

"We'll fight them one-on-one!" Ruth yelled to the others. 

"Whoa, one onto one" Rowena said.

"Rowena, shut up." 

As they fought very hard, Ruth and gang seemed to be winning the fight. The aliens were not strong enough this time, so most of them just fought so lightly, like dancing. 

"Hellooo, girls!" 

Ruth got another shock, it was Scott again, and they managed to come to help' them! 

Ruth fainted to the ground again, 2 aliens grabbed hold of her and carried her away. None of the existing fighting ones could offer help to Ruth, cos the appearance of Scott and the guys seemed to encourage the little aliens and the aliens stepped up on their fighting skills. 

"Boys, let's fight!" Clint shouted and ran towards.

Scott and Mark ran after the 2 aliens who had taken Ruth away. Shane pushed his way towards Audrey and helped her fought off some aliens.

The most amazing thing happened. Clint suddenly stopped fighting and stood there blinking, and then hair started growing all over his body! 

"Oh, It's the Full Moon again tonight. I almost forgot" he said as he grew paws and fangs, his whole body covered with fur. He howled and wagged his tail, then ran around nipping at any single aliens nearby. Most of the aliens freaked out.

Meanwhile, Ruth was brought to this place and she woke up. She was laid down and strapped up tightly. She glanced over at the other side, was surprised and glad to find Bob lying there too, and the most exciting part was that Bob had only boxers on. 

Hi,' Bob said. And he started to complain about how the aliens are ill-treating him.

Hey Ruth, know something? I just found out that the aliens make great chicken rice, or whatever you call that.'

Then Scott charged in and Mark attacked the aliens. Mark, being the tall one, at least taller than Scott, managed to fend off the aliens easily and the aliens fled. Scott started to unstrap Ruth's strap, then Bob's. Ruth stood up and ran out to help the others who were fighting hard against those idiotic aliens. 

heeeeee-yaa,' Ruth tried a high kick, but kicked nothing cos she realised she was kind of a distance away from the alien.

Shane and Audrey were tugging and pulling at one alien's arms, the alien screamed and yelled for help but none of his companions came to help as they were all busy fighting also. Rowena ran off somewhere, Clint Were-Dog yelped happily when he saw the imprisoned' come back. Ruth came out and saw Obi-Wan Kenobi using his own Laser Sabre, a better brand from Audrey's one earlier. 

Oh! Can you let me use it for a while?'

You know how to use it?" Obi-Wan Kenobi said, Ruth said no, and he told her to switch a button on. Then suddenly, the laser appeared and Ruth was so surprised that she almost dropped it, the laser swung around carelessly, and Ruth accidentally cut off a bit of Obi-Wan Kenobi's rattail. 

AHH! No way are you gonna use this, give it to me in case you kill someone! Look what you did to my hair!'

Then Obi-Wan Kenobi turned around and gave Bob a strange look, So, you're the Bob she's always talking bout, huh.'

Yeah? And who are you? You're not in our group, you're with those aliens!' Bob said annoyingly.

How dare you! I'm gonna fight you right now, if I win, then Ruth shall be mine!' Obi-Wan Kenobi said and challenged Bob.

Both of them stood in the centre and glared at each other, then Bob reached into his trench coat to take out his secret weapon, Obi-Wan Kenobi watched carefully, his laser sabre in hand.

My special weapon!' Bob yelled and pulled out his big frying pan with the words Bob Can Cook Too!' underneath it, he swung it in the air cautiously.

Obi-Wan Kenobi burst out laughing and could not stop, so he laughed and laughed and laughed, and rolled on the floor and the laser sabre rolled off, a frying pan hahahahah'

And thus, Bob was the winner cos Obi-Wan Kenobi lost, he turned around to look at Ruth, and found Ruth walking off with Mark. 

Mark was so happy Ruth came to him again, but was disappointed again when Ruth told him, Actually, I just want to stroll for a while, I don't want to be in there to watch them fight, they're so sick people.' 

Clint Were-Dog followed behind them, asking for a walk too, and they brought him along. 

They walked and walked, until they reached the main ship control department. Ruth got all excited, We could drive this home for our own use!' 

No! There are still many baby aliens hiding around and others whom you won't know, you mustn't bring this home to allow it to get free on the Real World!' Mark said.

Ruth looked at outer space. Her caller beeped, she picked it up, it was Scully. 

Hi, Chosen One, this is Scully, with Mulder here, we're going back to the Real World right now in Neo's ship, he'll get back to fetch you all after taking us back, so you people have to wait a while'

Okay,' and the caller went silent. Then suddenly Mark shouted, Oh no! the craft is going to crash into that planet!' 

Ruth spun around to see this really big planet before the space craft, it was too near to even swerve the craft away, both of them including Clint watched with bated breath as it neared the planet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Boooom! Bang! Splash!' as the craft crashed onto the red planet. All of them rolled out of the broken entrance. 

Ow!' Lingzhi shouted as Shane accidentally stepped on her hand. 

Rowena accidentally boxed Mark in the eye as she rolled out. They stood up, and looked around. The whole place was all isolated and lifeless. It was a real disappointment, now how are they supposed to go back home?

We're all gonna die here!' Scott said pessimistically. 

No, we're not! We will live, but we'll only be a little more miserable than normal.' Rowena said smartly. 

But not more than 2 of them were convinced, cos the place really looked rotten and pathetic, all red and rocks and sand, no plants, no floating houses and not congee! 

Marilyn suggested to go around, exploring to look for anything of use. So all of them went together cos no one thought it was safe to get lost on this bug planet. They walked and walked on the endless red path. Then suddenly, they could hear some soft whispery sounds. 

there is somebody who's on the planet too, it could be the aliens, so careful.' Ruth said. 

Ruth and Rowena climbed over the big rock which blocked the view of the other side, the others stayed put in their position. 

As they climbed up, they peeped over the other side and to their astonishment, they saw this big red palace that had a few alien guards outside walking about. It was indeed the aliens! Then they saw another familiar figure.

They moved towards the farthest left to see clearly, it turned out to be Britney Spears and Billie Piper! And both were sitting down on the red floor, talking to each other happily. Both were wearing the same clothes, short tight T-shirts and loose jeans with sneakers. Ruth and Rowena cannot believe their eyes, how did they get there? Both of them leaned to hear what they were talking about

Bille said to Britney, Britney baby, after he comes back, we'll go have dinner later on, what'll we be eating, let's see'

Ruth looked at Rowena strangely. Then Rowena, the sharp-eyed one, pointed out, Look, they're sitting on something, white in colour, not a chair I'm certain.'

Ruth looked closer, then at the perfect time, Britney and Billie stood up to go into the palace. 

Ruth and Rowena gasped, there were 2 big white eggs sitting there comfortably, on top of the eggs, were words inscribed with markers, PLOT'. 

Oh gosh, they're hatching a plot! I'm confident to say that they meant hatching a plot to destroy the Real World! They're the mastermind behind all the aliens! It's them!' Rowena said excitedly. 

Don't be so excited, we'll save the World. Yeah!' Ruth laughed like a maniac.

Then suddenly, someone grabbed Ruth's arm, and she turned around to see aliens surrounding them. And the thing is that these aliens are different from the aliens on the space craft, these aliens here are at least 2 metres tall and red-skinned. 

Rowena and Ruth were made to stand up and go into the red palace. The others came running out from behind, Hey! You aliens let go of them!' shouted Mark. 

The aliens, of course, do not let go. Then Mark turned around to face Bob and Obi-Wan Kenobi, I'm going to rescue Ruth first!'

No! I'll save her, and she's gonna like me!' Obi-Wan Kenobi said.

You stupid idiots! She loves me and she would be very very happy when I save her!' Bob exclaimed.

And thus they started fighting all over again for Ruth. Everyone was so sick of the same old stunt again. Then Trinity stepped up and got the help of Audrey and Shane to help free Ruth and Rowena. Lingzhi had to stay behind to pull back the lease on Clint Were-Dog so that he would not run off and eat up the PLOTs. Marilyn stayed behind to make sure the other 3 fighting guys are fighting safely, and Scott rather stay behind.

Trinity, Audrey and Shane entered the Red Palace and out charged many blue aliens. Trinity signaled to Audrey and Shane to enter the Palace to find the 2 of them, while she expertly fight off the aliens herself.

Audrey and Shane ran hand-in-hand and found Rowena and Ruth still being taken in, struggling, and Billie Piper and Britney Spears holding onto them. Britney Spears held on to Ruth and she was yelling, My boob's are bigger!' the whole time, Billie Piper held onto Rowena and exclaiming the whole time I'm slimmer than her!'. Shane gave a super-duper kick and Billie flew away. Rowena turned around and bit Britney who was holding Ruth, she screamed and ran off. The all of them ran back to Trinity and helped to kill all the aliens quickly. They managed to leave the Red Palace hastily. Rowena looked at her side, and bent down to pick up the 2 PLOTs, and handed on to Ruth.

We must crack the PLOTs!' said Rowena.

Just then, Billie Piper and Britney Spears came out of the palace and screamed at them to put down their precious PLOTs. Rowena and Ruth said no and was about to crack the PLOTs. Then just as suddenly as the 2 appeared, the King appeared from behind. It wasoh, Leonardo DiCaprio. Ok, it's really him. He stepped forward and everyone was silent, Billie and Britney stepped behind him. 

After like 2 minutes of silence staring, Leonardo suddenly said, Hey! How come none of the girls here are coming up for my autograph?' and became very angry.

Billie shouted from behind, Give us back our PLOTs!' 

Rowena laughed and threw the first PLOT up in the air and it crashed down onto the ground, the egg-yolk flowed out of the shell and stained the ground with no colour. Ruth proceeded to throw it up too and just when it almost touched the ground, Leonardo reached forward and got hold of the 2nd plot and he laughed. The rest stared shocked. Then Leonardo turned around to Billie and Britney and formed a discussion circle about the plot. 

Ruth nodded at Trinity and then all of them ran like mad towards the others. They reached the spot, and Ruth picked up her beeper-caller and called Neo for help. Neo came in a minute time, cos he had been searching for them. Meanwhile, update on the 3 fighting guys. Bob had been holding on his frying pan for almost an hour, Obi-Wan Kenobi to his Laser Sabre and Mark to his Computer Mouse. Then when Ruth managed to escape and come back, Marilyn, Lingzhi, Scott and Clint Were-Dog had placed bets on who will win. But in the end, none won, cos Bob's frying pan ran out of oil, Obi-Wan Kenobi's Laser Sabre ran out of battery and Mark's Computer Mouse ran out of power. They saw that Ruth had been rescued and they were very disappointed. Neo arrives and was picking up everyone in line, when Billie, Britney and Leonardo appears and started throwing rocks at Ruth and Rowena, the last few ones who had not got onto the ship yet. Neo saw that Rowena was being attacked by them, and he rushed down and fought alongside with Ruth and Rowena. They managed to throw back the rocks as fast and the other 3 fainted after being hit on the head. They lost because their plot was really really lousy, it seems. They dragged them up onto the ship with them and tied them up. 

Neo drove the ship back to the Real World. When they got off the ship, the humans threw a huge party for them and celebrated victory for a week. Among the humans, Ruth saw a really really good-looking guy, and she recongnised him as James Van der Beek! He had been a movie star in the Matrix, but in the Real World, he was a simple and normal human. Both of them struck up a conversation and both were really attracted to each other. Ruth discovered that he was different, and not like the other 3 who just keeps on fighting and fighting, then Ruth and her new-found love got married soon. Bob, Mark and Obi-Wan Kenobi saw it and all of were so heartbroken that they went to the pub and drank petrol till they got drunk, and since then the 3 of them became really good friends, although sometimes they do know that Ruth had married someone else, they still would not give up and gave her flowers everyday, hoping to impress her. Then later, they even set up a Ruth Fan Club, with them as the only 3 fans and they just keep on writing and writing fan-fictions which ends like Ruth and whoever will live happily ever after. Rowena learnt to drive the ship from Neo and both of them were always seen driving the ship together, Rowena sitting on his lap . But there was no sign of them intending to get married yet. When Marilyn came back, Dave had prepared special Egg-drop soup, Sze Chuan chicken and chicken congee for Marilyn who, touched by his display of love, decided to marry him. Audrey and Shane got married too and had lots of children since then as there was no protection in the Real World(it was purely fat hope for human beings when they are in the Matrix) . Lingzhi broke up with Jay Kay and she found another love, Kian the agent! Trinity is still with Brad Pit, even though sometimes she receive hate mails from ex-fans of Brad Pit in the Matrix and from Jennifer Anniston. Clint, who was human the whole time except on Full Moons went single cos he just didn't like the idea of getting married at his age. Scott fell in love with Billie Piper while she was captured in the ship and Billie liked him, thus he got special permission from Morpheous to allow her to stay in the Real World with him. (Billie didn't like Leonardo anymore after she found him a big-time loser.) Leonardo was sent to Loserville and he met Take 5 staying there, and they became good friends there and lived unhappily ever after as losers. Britney Spears changed over a new leaf and became a singer along the street busking. Thus, all good things must come to a good end. 

THE END


End file.
